She Can Dance

Last night Lilly had a showcase dance. The culmination of six weeks of rehearsals, dance costume adjustments, fake eyelashes, and constant workouts. Six weeks of her parents reminding her, "You live in Vegas, we sent you to dance studios to be a stripper, it's plie, relevés, ass in face!" And laughing maniacally as she pretends to get angry.

As the stage lights came up last night, John leaned over to whisper, "Our girl is always happiest on stage."

Today, I wonder at this little dancer I created. At her age, my secret to survival was staying chemically enhanced and staying under the radar. So much like me in so many ways, yet so different. She has confidence in herself and confidence in me, which is fantastic to me. She does not doubt that her mother would take a bullet for her or shoot one if needed. It is a luxury I was never afforded.

It is not that I don't believe in my parents' love for me. It is just that, due to their trauma, there were limits on what they could give. You can only give what you have. A parent raised in trauma, unaddressed, will pass on that trauma. Generational trauma unexamined does not cease to exist, it grows exponentially.

ChatGPT said:

Generational trauma, also known as intergenerational trauma, refers to the transmission of traumatic experiences, emotional pain, or psychological wounds from one generation to the next. This can happen even if the descendants did not directly experience the original trauma themselves.

Generational Trauma:

• Originating Event: Often begins with a deeply distressing event such as war, genocide, slavery, colonization, forced migration, abuse, or systemic oppression.

• Transmission Mechanisms:

  • Family dynamics: through parenting styles, communication patterns, or behaviors shaped by trauma.

  • Cultural and societal structures: through discrimination, poverty, or ongoing marginalization.

  • Biological factors: emerging research suggests trauma can affect gene expression (epigenetics), potentially influencing future generations.

• Psychological Impact: Descendants may experience anxiety, depression, PTSD-like symptoms, low self-esteem, or difficulties in relationships, often without understanding the source.

Understanding generational trauma is essential for healing and breaking the cycle, often requiring a combination of personal, familial, and community-level interventions.